


All In the Family

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Character Study, Drama, Episode Related, Friendship, M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-09
Updated: 2008-11-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 06:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13312062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: When a mysterious call comes for "Lee Gibbs" and he disappears, it changes everything.What does it all mean? Spoilers for episode 6X04.





	1. Prologue--And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

  
Author's notes: This is our spin on what NCIS intends to do in episode 6X04. We're pretty sure we've twisted their idea LOL!  
Thanks to Anna for the beta and ideas!Spoilers for Episode 6X04!  


* * *

Prologue

“Special Agent Lee? Michelle Lee?” Tony looked at McGee in confusion. The younger agent looked just as confused as DiNozzo did. 

“McGee?” Tony hissed. “She’s in Legal now.” Of course McGee knew that. Tony didn’t know why he’d said that. Maybe the surprise of someone wanting to the agent that had worked with them so briefly.

“Ohhh,” McGee said slowly, and Tony watched comprehension dawn on Probie’s face. Both men sat up a little taller as Gibbs returned from a coffee run. They were running cold cases today, waiting for a new case to arrive. In reality, he and McGee were goofing off; Ziva was on a long lunch break.

“Yes, Ma’am. Please hold and I’ll get him for you.” McGee sighed and gave Tony a significant look that Tony didn’t quite comprehend.

“Boss?” McGee began tentatively. “Someone on the phone for you. Looking for Agent Lee Gibbs.”

Tony frowned as the blood drained out of Gibbs’ face. He rarely reacted like this to anyone or any news. Tony started to get up but froze halfway to his feet and sank back down. He and Gibbs never brought their relationship into the office and Gibbs wouldn’t appreciate him being all concerned and protective. In public, anyhow.

“Want one of us to take it, Boss?” Tony asked instead of approaching, though he wanted to be over there, studying Gibbs’ eyes for answers. 

“No,” Gibbs said quietly, rubbing his eyes and the bridge of his nose. “Man or woman, McGee?”

McGee shot a concerned look to Tony, who shrugged. “Woman, Boss. She sounded a little stressed.”

Gibbs let out a slow breath and nodded.

“Gibbs. Yeah…what? Why did you call me…Emergency?” He sighed loud enough for Tony to hear him. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ll find a way.” He hung up his phone and stared at his desk for a second before he stood, grabbing his coat. Tony and McGee stood as well but Gibbs gestured them back into their chairs.

“Not work related,” he said, shooting Tony a brief look. “Taking the afternoon off, call me if you need me.”

Tony stood, following Gibbs and slipped into the elevator with him, closing the door on McGee. He flipped the emergency stop switch and turned to Gibbs. “What was that about? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Can’t discuss it, Tony. It’ll be okay though.” Tony thought he heard Gibbs say ‘It has to be’.

Tony peered into Gibbs’ face. “I’ve never heard anyone call you ‘Lee’ before. What is it about? You sure you’re okay?”

Gibbs sighed, moving a little closer to Tony but not menacingly. It was almost as if he wanted comfort or support, but that was unlike Gibbs and unheard of in the office. “No. But I will be, Tony. This is…complicated.”

“Let me help then.”

Gibbs shook his head and Tony read true regret in his eyes. “Can’t, Tony. If I could, I would.” He patted Tony’s cheek gently. “Maybe when I get through this, I’ll call you in on it.”

“We okay?” Tony asked quietly.

Gibbs gave him a firm nod. “Nothing changed between you and me. Just…got some ghosts I have to put to rest. I’ll call.”

Tony nodded. He wanted to help but he had to respect Gibbs. “And I’ll text. You remember how to get the text messages, right?”

“Tony…” Gibbs moved into his personal space, but only placed a gentle hand on his chest, right over Tony’s heart. “I know you’re worried. So’m I, but not about me. I’ll call you in when and if I can. Meantime, keep an eye on the team.”

“This is more than an afternoon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Gibbs said, sighing heavily. “I have some vacation time and I’ll handle things with Vance.” Tony met the older man’s eyes and read a lot of things that Gibbs didn’t dare say at work.

“Me too,” Tony replied quietly, riding the elevator until it reached the parking garage and Gibbs stepped out. He turned, flashing Tony a sign Tony knew meant that he cared. As Tony rode the elevator back up, he tried not to feel alone.


	2. All In the Family

Chapter One  
O’Hare International

Patricia had left a first-class ticket for him, United Airlines out of Dulles. Even though he chafed the entire time, he packed a few suits, designer stuff left over from the Diane era. It was too damn easy to fall back into these patterns and Gibbs wasn’t interested, though he would conform. Even though he knew he’d moved on, this was his first time in a lot of years—seventeen to be exact—that he’d be in this environment again. And he wasn’t interested in revisiting it for any longer than he absolutely had to.

If it had been anyone but Patricia, he would have treated them just like they’d treated him and told them to get rid of his number. There was nothing left for him in Chicago, hadn’t been for a lot of years.

Only Patricia. There had always been Patricia. And Anthony…

Funny how that name in particular haunted him. There had been Anthony, and then Ant Green, one of the first men he’d lost in the jungles of Panama. And now Tony. 

“Mr. Gibbs, can I get you anything?” 

First-class service lived up to its name. The flight attendant had been hovering at his elbow for most of the flight. She was a brunette, mid-twenties, and cute. But he was taken—very taken. And she was far too young, even if he wasn’t taken.

“Jack Daniels,” he replied. He needed to steady himself 

He flipped open a small photo album, one of the few indulgences he’d allowed himself. He’d dressed more formally, in a button down from a designer Tony liked, he’d fixed his hair a little differently, all those long-forgotten little quirks coming back even though they didn’t deserve it.

Page one, two little boys, one five and one a toddler, two sets of blue eyes shining with hope and promise. Before everything had gotten screwed up. Page two, three children, the eldest holding a baby. Pages three and four, two pictures, a sweaty quarterback and a grinning pitcher after games. Page five, high-school graduation, minus one child now, adults standing stiff and tall. Nobody touching each other. Page six, a much younger Gibbs and an older gentleman beaming at him with pride, a half finished boat between them.

Page seven through ten, him in his military uniform, a gorgeous redhead smiling up at him, her stomach rounded with new life. His legacy. The legacy that had been wrenched away from him. The next ten pages of the young family, ending with a headstone, reading Gibbs.

He flipped through it methodically, startled when the flight attendant touched his arm, handing him his drink. “What a beautiful family,” she remarked, looking at the picture of the four children. “Yours?”

“Not for a lot of years,” he replied, closing the photo album and downing his drink.

He was silent for the rest of the flight, posture ramrod straight, hands folded in his lap, photo album safely stored away. He was one of the first off the plane and strode purposefully to baggage claim where he knew she would be waiting.

Jethro was at the baggage carousel for only a couple of minutes when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, bags temporarily forgotten, just drinking her in. They hadn’t seen each other since he’d returned from Mexico two years ago. She was busy with her career and this wasn’t exactly his favorite place. Scratch that, it was his least favorite place.

The years were still pretty kind to her, she was every bit as slim and beautiful as he remembered. She’d started highlighting her hair, he realized, and her makeup was subtler than ever.

As he’d done when they were children, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Been too long, Patricia. I’ve missed you.” And with that he grabbed his sister in a tight hug, rubbing her back, trying to soothe her.

“Don’t worry, Trish. We’ll find him. I’m here now.”

"How can I not worry, Lee?" It had been a risk, calling her brother in now, but Patricia Gibbs didn't care anymore. She'd spent her life toeing the family line. She'd done whatever her father and mother had told her to do, but she wasn't going to lose another brother because of their indifference. "No one has heard from him in over two weeks. Even I know that if there was a trail, it's likely gone cold. This isn't how Richard does things; he wouldn't just leave work one night and not come back. Something happened to him and no one seems inclined to want to find out what."

He nodded, pulling back and looking into her worried eyes. “And he’s close with…them?” He meant their father and mother, of course. When she just looked at him slightly confused, he continued. “No problems with…Father and Mother?” The words felt so foreign to him. He’d always been “Daddy” to Kelly and Shan had been “Mommy”. They’d been as informal as his parents had been formal. 

The realization that he’d have to see them soon sat like a rock in his gut and he only hoped and prayed that Trish hadn’t warned them first. Going in cold was the only way he’d keep his composure.

“Richard still lives at the manor, right? Should start there. Might as well face ‘em right off and get it over with.” The manor was a fancy name for their childhood home, but with seven bedrooms, eight and a half baths, and nearly ten acres of prime lakefront real estate, it was hardly a shack or even a cottage.

“Most of the time he’s at the manor, but he has an apartment in the city. He’ll stay there two or three nights a week, sometimes more if he’s seeing someone or if he’s got a project that keeps him at the office late.” Patricia had long since given up on trying to keep track of her brother. He had never appreciated the effort, and she didn’t have the time to try any longer.

“Seeing someone?” Jethro still thought of Richard as the young man he’d seen last just after Shan and Kel had died. Richard was in college then. “Still think of him as a drunk frat boy,” he admitted. “Not as a corporate lawyer.”

Jethro had been the only one n his generation and the only male in a couple to escape the “family business” of law. As a result, he’d never matter or be as important to most of the family. It shouldn’t have smarted but it still did.

Thank god he had Trish and Uncle Daniel, who’d always looked at him as just “Lee” not eldest, firstborn, great hope of the Gibbs family.

"Don't get me wrong, he's still the drunk frat boy. He dates women mother will think are inappropriate, just to get a rise out of her, and still goes on his yearly trips with his frat brothers. He's a shark in the court room, but just as screwed up as the rest of us are outside of it." 

Most of her life, Trish had been picking up after Richard. When he'd do something wrong, she was there to mother him in ways their own mother couldn't be bothered with. Where Lee protected her, she gave the same protection to the baby of the family. They weren't as close any longer, not since she'd decided to leave the family firm and go out on her own as a District Attorney. But she still loved her brother, flaws and all. 

"He better watch out. He might fall in love with someone completely unsuitable. See how well that worked out for me. I don't know if you remember how cruel Mother could be to Shan." She'd been awful, it had been one of the things that drove him away for good, their constant disgust of his “lowborn" wife. She was the best damn thing that had ever happened to him and they'd never seen that.

“I hope that if Richard decides to marry someone she’s totally and completely inappropriate. None of us were strong enough to do anything when she was torturing Shannon, but I wouldn’t stand by and let her do that to the incredibly stupid woman who chooses to marry into our family, “Trish said.

“I hope if he finds someone, he’s strong enough to go with his heart. I never regretted that, never regretted marrying Shannon. Don’t regret the relationship I have now either.” She gave him a curious look and he nodded. “Yeah, I’m with someone. Real happy. You?”

Hearing that her brother had a relationship, and that he was happy was a weight off of her mind. Ever since Lee had lost Shannon and Kelly, he'd gone through a string of females that had been the appropriate kind, the ones that if she had met them, their mother would have loved. But Trish knew that her brother hadn't ever been happy.

"I have my job, I'm not looking for another arranged marriage that will advance the family business or fortune. If Richard wants to be the next sacrifice, more power to him. I'm happy the way I am." Not quite true, but it was true enough. 

"I think, given the chance Rich would leave the family business and move away from Chicago. You were his hero, and he was just a kid it seems when you left. Father, he put a lot of pressure on the kid to keep him under the collective family thumb. Poor Rich became the sacrificial son. And I just sat back and let it happen, because it was easier then standing up to our parents. I'm guilty of being indifferent, and I won't lose him because of it." She paced in a small circle as they waited for his bag to emerge.

 

"I was his hero?" That was unfathomable to Jethro. “He would always have a place with me,” he said hoarsely. He’d never tried with Rich after he left the family for good and maybe that was a big mistake. “Father was good at putting the screws to all of us, Trish. When I refused to go to Notre Dame, you should have heard him. ‘Do you have any idea how many people I had to pay off?’ And then he wondered why I enlisted instead.” 

Gibbs sighed, all the past feelings rearing up until he tamped them down firmly. Not gonna do that. Can’t do it to myself, he kept silently repeating.

“You’ree the big brother, Lee, of course you were his hero.” Some things never chang'ed and apparently her brother was one of them. He was just as clueless today as he was when he was a teenager. Just as stubborn as well. 

“I was the big brother who gave up college and enlisted. How was that admirable to the law firm and snobbery?” He sighed. He didn’t want to believe it because that would mean he’d failed another brother and that wasn’t acceptable.

“Trish, how do I fix this?” If they got him back was what Gibbs couldn’t say yet.

"You can't fix what's in the past, Leroy. And it's not your fault; so don't even think about diving into one of those world famous guilt trips. Rich knew that if he wanted out, I would have supported him. Hell, I would have smuggled him out of town. We may not talk often, but I know how to find you and I know that you would have done the same thing."

 

“It is, Trish. I made a conscious effort to pull away from everyone except you and Uncle Dan. I convinced myself that you all were better off, but I know I did the kid a disservice.” Rich had only been twelve when he’d enlisted, still a kid and he should have been there to protect his brother from the pressures.

"You tried to pull away from me and I wouldn't let you. Not that I blame you. If I thought I could have done it, I might have followed." But at that time in her life, Trish had been starting her own life and couldn't imagine it being anywhere than Chicago. Those days were long done, but she was established here and couldn't see herself moving any more as she could then. 

He nodded, seeing his bag start to make the journey to him. Trish had taken on his responsibility and that left a bad taste in his mouth. And if she wasn’t dating, it wasn’t as if she had anyone to share her life journey with and take off the pressure from her.

He smirked, age mellowing the protectiveness that rose up inside him. “You should date more. What about just pure lust or the thrill of the hunt?”

"I'm too old for lust, and if I'm looking for a hunt, I'll pay for an African safari. I know I'm a disappointment, never followed my dreams. But my life is fine the way it is, Lee. No reason to try and shake it up now."

“Not a disappointment to me. You’re my one and only sister, Trish, and the only one I considered worth my time for a lot of years…” 

He grabbed his suitcase and carry-on and slung his arm over Patricia’s shoulder. “Come on, Trish. I’ll figure this out. Take me to your jalopy or limo or whatever it is that we’re using to get there and fill me in.”

He knew it would be a limo. She’d want to take advantage of the forty-five minute drive to give him all the details, and most likely keep him calm as well.

“I thought we might want to try Richard’s apartment first. Will give you time to acclimate yourself to being in Chicago again. Lee, I know you don’t want to be doing this. I’m at a loss though. Mother has insisted that we don’t bring in the authorities. That Rich is just being a boy and he’ll come home again soon.”

She tried to understand that her baby brother was spoiled by their parents, it was just the way things happened with their family. But he was hardly a boy anymore, being nearly forty. “Neither of them know I called. I knew if I didn’t, we might lose Rich for good. No demands have been made, but he hasn’t been to any of the places he’d normally go. His cards haven’t been accessed either. This isn’t a case of our baby brother being a petulant child and running away. I think something has really happened to him.”

He ran a hand through Trish’s hair. “I belong here. Not letting you deal with this alone, Patricia. Them I have no time for, but you and Uncle Daniel…I’m here. Don’t get guilty or remorseful, okay?”

He hated that she’d become the gatekeeper in his absence. She shouldn’t have to deal with this. “Trish, you are not losing another brother. I promise that.” He was the one who had been at fault when Anthony had died, though he wouldn’t mention it. It was something he and Patricia had never discussed. But now that he was back, all bets were off. 

“You stay clearheaded for me, okay? I need details from you.”

 

"We aren't going to lose another brother Lee. He's your brother too, even if he's too pigheaded to call you." She was more than happy to turn this all over to her big brother, who, like always, came in and saved the day. "I wouldn't trust anyone else to help find him. I don't know if this was him leaving or someone forcing him to leave but I need to know. If he wants to get away, I'll support him. But the not knowing is driving me crazy. And I think that is our parents biggest fear. That this is Richard's way of breaking loose from the family. The scandal alone would be enough to put mother in a facility to deal with the stress. They'd rather just not know." 

He nodded. “I know, Trish…I know. I will find him. I may need to call in my team, but I’m not going to fail. Not again.”

“Can I be there when you tell the parents you’re not only bringing in law officials, but federal ones?” It had been much too long, but Trish was going to enjoy this family meeting as much as she knew Lee would hate it.

“Your team is more than welcome here. I’ll take care of any arrangements that need to be made, including lodging. You tell me what they need and I’ll get them here for you. I have a little pull with the local law officials here, so if it’s lab or office space you need I can make it happen.”

He smirked. “Only if I can watch.” He was starting to get a little more relaxed about things. “Let’s see how things shake out. Not sure I want them to see this part of my life. It’ll change things in way I’m not prepared to…like being an enigma, Trish. Don’t want them to see me as the guy born with a platinum spoon in my mouth.”

"Your team, they might understand you better if they knew where you came from, big brother. It's not good to hide as much or as long as you have." At least her team, her inner circle at work would do anything for her. If Lee wasn't willing to bring his people in, it made her wonder just what was holding her brother in Washington. "Bring them, it can be just like when we were children. I have no problem pretending you’re the bastard son, and I'm the heir apparent. It will be like old times."

He sighed. “Trish, I don’t want them to understand me. I don’t want to let them in. I want to be removed and away from it all so that I can leave work there and go home to my bourbon and my boat.” But that wasn’t quite the case. Tony had virtually moved in, it was different now.

“Maybe one or two of them, Trsh. Not everyone. Wouldn’t expose, say, Abby, to the unpleasantness. I think you might like Abby…” His sister would take Abbs at face value, the rest of them wouldn’t. He jerked his head toward her idling limo. “Let’s get started and then I’ll strategize.”

"Besides your love, who do you have in your life, Lee? For as much as we talk, you'd think we’re associates at best. You keep your life from your team, who I'm going to assume you're relatively close to. You keep that part of your life from me and Uncle Dan and the few friends you might have. Seems an awfully lonely way to live."

“I have friends, a lot of them…” He sighed. “Look, Trish. Let me get this figured out then we’ll revisit lecture territory, okay?” He gentled his words with a kiss and hug before they exited the terminal and what might await them.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Trish waved off the driver, when he opened her door. She normally didn't travel by limo, preferring her little sportscar and the freedom it brought her. But there wouldn't have been room to transport even a duffle bag, let alone any other luggage her brother might have decided to bring. 

Gibbs tried to control his emotions as he handed the driver his suitcase and small carryon. He was finally breathing evenly when he took his seat beside her.

"Rich will toe the family line to a point. When going out to see clients, he generally only takes his assistant. Randy is a former frat brother but he was also an Army Ranger. I can set up a meeting with him, and yes I can make the head of security jump and probably squirm. I may be the lesser daughter, but I still demand respect when I enter the office. If I ask to see him, you can bet he'll jump to attention. But Randy, I just have to call him and tell him to meet us. He's as worried as I am."

“Why didn’t you bring me in before now, Trish?” He knew he’d been in the press for the arrests of Pat and Lynn Kiley, but the way the timing went, Rich was already gone. “Trish? Could he have seen some of the footage and decided to look me up or something?” It made no sense but he was grasping at straws anyhow.

"It's possible, Lee. He had asked me for your cell number back around the holidays. I'm guessing that he never followed up with you; I never wanted to ask, since it was between you and him. But he would have told me if he were just going away for a few days. And I didn't bring you in, just in case he did go away for a couple of days. While I like to think he calls me every time he goes out of town, I know he'll sneak out for a long weekend or for a night away. But never when he's expected to make an appearance at a family function. He's never missed a board member dinner. Not even when he was in college. That's when I knew it was more than him being out for a couple of days."

He shook his head. “Never heard from him. Wouldn’t have turned him away…hope he knew that. Hope I can tell him that…” He pulled in one deep breath, focusing. “Is he dating anyone, have any friends as close as Randy? Any high profile or particularly bitter enemies?” 

“Not dating any one person. A few women he has mutual agreements with. They rotate going to functions with him so mother doesn’t get her hopes up.” Trish knew that her brother had no intention of settling down anytime soon, for fear of ending up like their parents. She wasn’t even sure if they even liked each other anymore, let alone loved one another. They may never have for all she knew. 

“Randy is probably his best friend. Some of the brothers still do get together. It’s like they never left college for the most part. They’re all successful doctors and lawyers but still feel the need to go on spring break when it can be arranged. Most of them are married, a couple of kids and a lot of money to burn. No one that would do anything to Rich, at least none of them that ping my criminal radar. I’ve got a pretty good one doing what I do. And Lee, you’re going to be able to tell Rich that. I think he knows you wouldn’t turn him away. But our little brother can be very stubborn. I have no idea where he gets that from.” She said looking pointedly at Lee. “He’ll call you when he’s ready. He has to work it out in his head before he does something.”

“He sounds so much like my…” Like Tony. He swallowed hard. “My second in command acts the overgrown frat boy but he’s a hell of a lot more than that. You’d like him, Trish. He’s…his name is Tony as well. Anthony DiNozzo. Most talented agent and one of my most loyal friends.”

"Work hard, play harder. It's Rich's motto." Trish wondered just what her brother was holding back from her. He'd never mentioned friends before. She always assumed he had them. Hard-nosed marines who were just like Lee. He had frat boy friends too? This was a side that she never would have thought she'd see. 

"This is one of the agents you don't want to bring out here? Sounds like if he's that damn good, you need him. Especially since it might be the only loyalty you get that isn't from me."

“Yeah. One who has been with me the longest—seven years now. Nobody I’d rather have on my six.” She gave him a look and he shrugged. “Watching my back.” Maybe he did need Tony but he wouldn’t expose his lover to his family.

He swallowed hard, his voice a bit raspy now. “I think you’d like Tony.”

"I'm sure I would, he comes with such a stellar recommendation from you." If her brother didn't bring his team out to meet her, she may just have to make the trip to DC to meet them. Anyone who takes such good care of Lee deserved to be thanked, and she was quite sure he didn't do it enough. "If they are important to you, they're important to me. I know we don't see one another nearly enough, but we need to stop that. Someday, we're going to be it. I don't want to have my brother be a stranger."

“Tony, Ducky, Abbs. They’re good people. They’re as much my family as you are.” He didn’t want to think that someday sooner rather than later their parents would be gone. Even though he couldn’t stand them, there were some good times buried in the memories, little glimpses of what they could have had if his folks hadn’t been drinking the day everything went to hell.

He sighed, squaring his shoulders, knowing everything was changing but powerless to stop it.

~*~  
Gibbs had been gone about four hours and Tony was already getting restless. Nobody knew about their relationship, which made it all the much harder. After pacing like a caged lion, he decided to go see Abby, knowing she’d calm him down.

“Hey Abbs.” He’d come bearing Caf-Pow.

"Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine on this gloomy Gibbs-less day?" Abby held out her hand, waiting for her caffeine manna to be delivered. Ever since his trip to Mexico, whenever her boss left, she was afraid that he wouldn't come back. She'd tried to get him to promise to take her the next time he had to leave, but she never could quite nail him down on it.

"What's going on with you, Tony-Tone? It's eerily quiet down here today. You know that doesn't ever bode well. Something big is going to happen."

“Word’s gotten around? Yeah, he lit out around lunchtime. Someone called looking for Lee. Not Agent Lee, but Gibbs. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Can’t figure out who…” He trailed off, not wanting to say much more yet.  
"Sounds like we have a mystery on our hands." Abby could see how down Tony was, and wanted to try and do something that might distract him.   
"Obviously, it's from someone from our esteemed leader’s past. Was this someone a male or female? That could have a lot to do with where in his life this someone fit. Could it be another ex in trouble? Did he look pained when he took the call or was he calm and collected?"  
“Woman.” Tony had grilled McGee on every detail and even had him write up a report. “He looked shocked, kicked in the balls, Abby.” Nobody knew about him and Jeth, most especially not Abbs, who they were close with. A decision had been made not to share it with anyone, not his best friend, Abbs, or Ducky, who Jeth was closest to.

And right now the decision made it so hard. 

“Diane would call Fornell first, he got an invitation to Stephanie’s wedding, Mann is engaged and in Hawaii now.” He hadn’t heard anything about Melissa, the first wife, recently. She was the one who lived at the Jackson.

He sighed. “He looked really worried, Abby. So I’m worried now.”

"Tony, you worry about the team. You're Gibbs' Number Two, although I think you are a little more dashing than Robert Wagner. Gibbs, he's a big boy and can take care of himself. You know how he is; he adopts people along the way. It could be the wife of one of his old Marines, it could be someone like Maddie too. Shannon could have had a sister for all we know." Abby knew she could probably find out who it was that called, but she tried to use her powers only for good. Gibbs wouldn't think that her snooping in his personal life was a real good idea. 

"He'll let us know what's going on when he can, Tony, until then we need to trust him."

It wasn’t the first time he desperately wanted to tell her but it was the time he’d come closest. “I know he’s a big boy, Abbs, but the last time he did this, he died. I brought him back but he was dead, wide eyed, not breathing dead.” Tony shuddered, remembering that horrible day.

"That won't happen again, Tony. This is Gibbs we're talking about. He's too smart to almost die twice in a year." It wasn't like Tony to get this uptight about something, but she could only chalk it up to the fact that they had all been separated for several months. The whole team had a bit of separation anxiety, but Tony was the worst.

“Hope not,” Tony said, knowing his voice was raspy, knowing he was revealing way too much. “Guy needs a keeper.”

"And since he doesn't have one of those, he has you to do that for him. Ziva and Timmy too, and you know I'm always there to hide the bodies if needed." Abby didn't want to tell Tony that it wasn't time to worry yet, because he wouldn't appreciate it. "He knows he has us if he needs us, Tony. I’ll drop everything if he calls and go help. When you talk to him, make sure he knows that. It's all we can do right now until he starts using his phone again."

“If. He’s on his own here and I don’t want to push. Well, I want to push but I don’t want to push, either. Does that make sense?” He was so worried about Gibbs that he wasn’t able to focus. Or hide his feelings. He was so damn close to telling her… He bit his lip, the words on the tip of his tongue.

“What’s really going on here, Tony? Usually it would be me in the panic, not you. Is this a you just being back thing and you’re afraid the boss is going to get himself into some sort of trouble? Or is there something you’re not telling me?” Abby stared Tony down, trying to read her friend. “You’re way too antsy, this isn’t a case of Gibbs making a run for the border, is it? You’d tell me if he was going to do a runner, wouldn’t you?”

“If I knew about it. Didn’t know he was leaving all of us the last time. Even when he left like that, I didn’t think he was leaving town and us…” None of them had, even Ducky who had driven Gibbs home. Tony sighed, long and loud and deep.

“Could you track his cell, just so we know where he is? I don’t think he’s local. Can’t trace the call, it came in through the NCIS switchboard, I think. McGee took it.” Tony raked a hand through his hair.

“It isn’t that I don’t trust him. It’s that…It’s Gibbs, Abbs. All bets are off when Gibbs and trouble meet and he’s usually the loser.”

He gave Abby a long look. “I jumped in the elevator, asked him if he was okay and he said no, Abbs. No. He never says that.”

"I'll start a trace, see if I can't at least figure out what part of the world he's in. It's not like he's going to make a run for the Middle East without letting someone know." She quickly started a trace, and when that turned up nothing she set an alert to email her as soon as his phone was in use. 

She squeezed his hand. "Tony, something threw him. Still doesn't mean he's in trouble. And if he were, he'd call us. So what ever this is, it's personal and he's not ready to talk to us yet."

God, what if he was going into a war zone. Tony knew he really shouldn’t worry but something about this nagged at him and he wasn’t sure why.

“Sorry, Abbs. I just…it doesn’t feel right. Not after he went out on his own with the senator.” Abby was just staring at him and Tony wondered if she saw beyond his worry into his love.

"He wouldn't do that again. He wouldn't give up his career to do that again, Tony. Vance, he isn't the kind of director who is going to suck it up and let Gibbs run on his own. Jenny did, more often than maybe she should have, but the new director isn't going down that road. He's a bit too anal to let Gibbs run amuck that way."

“He could have with the senator. Everyone knows that he only went to Vance because he couldn’t get anything past him. He sure as hell didn’t come to us. His team.”

“No, because you were just back. He fought to get you back here, Tony, and he wasn’t going to give you up again because of his own stupidity. He might be willing to put his career on the line from time to time but he won’t do that to his team. Especially because Vance wouldn’t care if he broke you up again.”

“But Abby…. I trust him. He should trust me too. How can we…” He couldn’t say any more. The tone of his voice alone was revealing too much and even though Abby wasn’t a special agent, she had to be able to see through him. “I needed to be back,” Tony finished in a soft voice.

"Yes, you did. And Gibbs knew that, it's why he wouldn't pick another agent to replace you. The first three, they were pushed on him and he never let them forget it, Tony. It was classic. It made when Ziva first arrived seem like an out right welcome party. There was never any doubt that in the end, he was going to get you back. And he got a great tropical vacation out of the deal. He'll be back and better than ever after what ever this adventure of his is."

“He told me once a long time ago that I was irreplaceable,” Tony said softly. He was still pissed that Vance had engineered the situation to test Gibbs’ gut. Lee had almost gotten hurt and he still couldn’t accept that Langer—the one who had taken his desk—had been the traitor. “Not a Vance fan, Abbs. He screwed with the boss one too many times.”

"You are irreplaceable, and there is no way in hell that Gibbs is going to lose you. I'd nag him until he got you back here again, Tony. He was looking for a way to get you back, even without me bugging him." Abby also didn't care for Vance, but none of them had cared for Jenny when she had first arrived. She was trying to withhold judgment, even if the man wasn't making it easy. But at least she had her team back and for the time being that was enough.

"Let the boss handle Vance. He's gotten good at it."

“Okay….deal then.” Tony gave her a tight hug. “My place. Eight tonight. Pizza, beer, you bring something chocolate for dessert. I could sure use the company.” With that he walked out, feeling like he’d barely dodged that bullet. He’d have to do some fancy footwork tonight, both to make his place look lived in again and in case he’d roused Abby’s suspicions. But he couldn’t be alone, not tonight.

~*~

Jethro stayed silent as they made their way to Rich’s penthouse apartment on the lake. Nothing but the best for The Gibbs Family. He hadn’t missed this at all. Sure, he had glimpses of it when Ducky asked him to come over for dinner, but those times were few and far between. He’d cultivated the salt-of-the-earth humble beginnings persona and it worked much better than the platinum spoon in his mouth would have.

He eyed the apartment building and tried to stifle his sigh. It was just what he’d expected and that disappointed him.

“Penthouse, Trish?” he asked, trying to keep his distaste out of his voice.

"Lee, stop being a snob. There is a certain standard that is expected of the Gibbs heir. He needs somewhere that isn't the manor to entertain at times. Someplace away from Mother and her insistence that she play hostess." Trish knew how little Rich was here, but it was a showplace to impress potential clients. Yet it still might lead them somewhere, as her little brother had called her before his disappearance saying he had planned to spend a few days away from home, and that she could reach him here. She had no idea if he ever made it in that day, but it could be the crime scene.

"I realize this isn't how you live, but you could have if you wanted to. You've never once touched your trust fund from Grandfather. I understand it, but don't look down on Richard and me because this is how we choose to live. Will you stop talking to me because I live in a penthouse too? Not as fancy as this, I'll give you that. But the security is top notch and I wouldn't trade that for all the world."

“Snob? I’m not the snob. This…” He gestured to the apartment building. “It’s excessive. What am I looking at here? Five thousand a month, three quarters of a million on the open market?” She could call him a snob all she wanted, it didn’t change that he didn’t fit in with any of them. “The mortgage is probably more than I make in a month. Can’t relate, sorry. Just a humble federal worker and the disappointment of the family.”

He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to get upset with her. “I couldn’t have had Shannon and this, Patricia. I made a choice. I decided to go out on my own rather then going to Notre Dame when Father had bought my way in. And it hasn’t been easy for me, Patricia. None of it has. I just can’t relate. I’m sorry, but I can’t relate.”

He sighed heavily. “Rich could have contacted me. He chose not to. You did despite my best efforts to push you away. That’s the difference between you both.” He recalled her earlier comment about security in her penthouse. “Are there security issues that might complicate my investigation?”

"No, I guess you couldn't have had all that, and lead the life you have. But it doesn't make us bad because we do have this." It was a pointless fight, but she wasn't going to apologize for how she lived. She had a trust, but hadn't touched it since she'd established herself.

"I'm an assistant district attorney, there are always security issues. I'm also a Gibbs, who doesn't use a security detail, like the rest of her family when she goes out. I like knowing that I have a doorman and a security guard at the front desk who will announce guests and remove those I don't want to see. That judge who had her family killed a few years back? I had been in her chambers the week before, Leroy. I take my personal safety very seriously."

“I didn’t say bad. I just said I couldn’t relate. I can’t. My clothes haven’t been designer since I got rid of ex-wife number two, the only times I’ve had three figure per person dinners are on special occasions, my clothes are from Macy’s. Last time I had a driver it was because I’d been in a coma. The trust was supposed to be for Kelly’s college fund.”

He sighed. He not only had the trust, but Jenny had left her entire estate to him. The payout from her town home alone had been four million dollars and the rest of the estate had rivaled his trust. “I have money, I just don’t choose to use it.”

He considered her words, trying to suppress the shudder. “Rich? Security detail or lone wolf? I need to start interviewing the head of the family’s detail and I want complete backgrounds, twenty years history…” He trailed off. “Is that something you can do?” He was so used to barking orders to his team that he didn’t consider she wasn’t used to that side of him.

“And you take care of yourself. I don’t want to think about losing you, Trish. Couldn’t…”

"You're not going to lose me. I have every intention of being an eccentric old woman who scares the pants off of members of society when they come looking for a donation for the charity ball. I learned at the knee of the master, and if I can put the fear of god into someone half as well as mother can, then I succeeded in life."

He looked at her, biting his lip and shaking his head. “When I can’t sleep, it always comes back to failing my family. Shannon, Kelly, Anthony.” He swallowed hard. “I blame myself for them all, Patricia. No matter how many I save, I caused them to be lost forever. Can’t even forgive myself. And if Rich…because of the distance I put between me and all of you…”

He couldn’t say any more, his vulnerability and pain rushing to the surface.

"You aren't to blame for any of that, Leroy. Rich is a big boy, who knows what he's doing. Shannon, you know that what happened to her and Kelly was a fluke. The wrong place at the wrong time and not even you could have prevented it." They never talked about their brother, never wanting to reopen a wound that had never quite healed. "Leroy, as much as I love you and know you will take care of those you care about, a ten year old never should have been put in the position you were put into. You can’t continue to blame yourself for what happened, no one blames you.”

He shook his head. “Not the time or the place but I was in the position of God, and I chose Rich to save. Some day…maybe we can talk… Maybe I wasn’t responsible for Shannon and Kelly, but I was for deciding which brother to save and which to come back for.”

It had been a horrible choice, one a little boy never should have had to make. But he had made it and lived with the consequences ever since.

“You did the right thing. Rich was just a baby, couldn’t swim. I could have done something, but I didn’t. You at least had the smarts to get the baby out of the water. I didn’t do anything. You think that doesn’t haunt me?”

“You were a little girl, Trish. You were a child… Not to blame.” For a while, he’d known she had blocked it out but it seemed that it had all come back to her. “I know it haunts you. I just wish you didn’t have to remember. I’d hoped you never would actually.”

He wrapped her in a tight embrace, rubbing her back, wishing he knew better words, wishing he knew how to communicate his emotions better. That day had damaged him so much. All of them.

"I wasn't that much younger than you, Lee. I was able to block it out until I went to college; I mean I knew what happened. But the actual details? I think I was better off not remembering, even though my shrink wouldn't agree. But I went through a thing the summer before I started law school." 

Trish hated thinking back on the summer of drinking and drugs, the gradual progression of turning into her mother. It started small enough, but she hadn't been able to get through the day without a drink or a quick pick up. The drugs were nothing hard-core, what you could get over the counter at any store. Luckily she hadn't ended up in any trouble. She'd checked herself into a 'spa' to get clean and with some professional help she'd managed to talk about what happened and just that was enough to put her back on the right track.

"It wasn't our fault. And you can't keep blaming yourself for it. How have you managed all these years without melting down? I couldn't even manage to get through school with out checking into a facility to find some peace. You've never done that."

He pulled back enough to stare into her eyes. He owed it to her to be as real as he could. “I ran away. I ran to the Corps, and then afterward I hid in work and society marriages and the stupid, naive pursuit of love. I moved to DC, half a country away to get distance from my guilt and anguish.” He’d hidden in building boats and belts of bourbon for too long.

He met his sister’s eyes. “Peace isn’t a part of my life, Trish. It never was.” But with Tony it was starting to be.

"Guess we both ran in our own way. At least your way wasn't as destructive. You made a good life for yourself, Lee. Our parents may not be able to be proud of you, but I am." Trish hated having to have this talk, but it was needed. 

"You found a measure of peace with Shannon and Kelly. And the pursuit of love is never a stupid thing. You've got to be awfully brave to go out looking for love. Even if, after Shannon, they were all airhead debutants who weren't any better than mother. But you were happy with them, for a little while."

He nodded, not trusting himself to say any more “Enough for now, Trish. Maybe later…then we can talk it through but I’ve got to concentrate if we’re going to find Rich and avoid another Gibbs family tragedy.”


	4. All In the Family

Chapter Three

Gibbs walked around to the trunk and tapped it lightly, pulling out a mini evidence kit. He slipped on a pair of gloves and handed another to Trish. “Always wear gloves at a crime scene.”

“I could never do your job. I spend a lot of money on my nails and I wouldn’t want them covered up all the time.” Trish pulled her gloves on, but had no intention of doing any kind of investigating. That was Jethro’s job, not hers. “It’s a good thing you’re so good at your job, and all I’ll have to do is follow behind you and ooh and aah.”

“And I could never be a lawyer. I could never spend my career talking. I weigh every word in interrogations. Even that is hard for me. Older I get, less I talk. Outside of with you and my…partner. You both drag it out of me.” Gibbs replied.

"Your partner? The frat boy?" Her big brother had never been much of a talker, and yeah, Leroy Gibbs never would have made a good lawyer. The first client that disagreed with him would have ended up with a broken nose. "Me, you have to talk to because you know I won't stop until you answer me. But the fact that you have friends that talk is odd. I don't really know you at all, do I?"

He blinked twice, icy shock running through him. He wasn’t ready to let his sister know he was bisexual. “What? Tony? My…? Why would you think that? I’ve got three ex wives, Trish. I just told you Tony is my second in command…” He trailed off, aware that he was walking the line of protesting too much.

Trish stood there in shock. That wasn't at all what she meant. He'd said his partner got him talking. She'd just asked if he'd meant the frat boy, she hadn't meant to imply anything beyond that. 

"You said your partner, I assumed that you meant Tony because you had said he was your second in command. I may not be a cop, but I know they have partners. If you weren't talking about him, just who were you talking about, Leroy?"

He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to hide his expression of relief. “My partner, my romantic partner. Tony isn’t…I’m team leader, I don’t have a specific partner.” Though he supposed McGee would come close. Tony had been his partner once, before Kate, but since he’d shaken things up, never allowing the team to break down in the same ways all the time. It made things much more interesting. 

“But Tony has been with me the longest of any agent. By over two years. I regularly scare ‘em off after four or six months.”

"My bad ass big brother. This Tony must be something if he's stuck with you longer than a couple of months. I wonder what he'd think if he heard that you used to catch me butterflies and bring home abandoned kittens and hide them in the stables." Lee had been great, until the accident. "I really want to meet your team. And this partner. When are you going to bring her around? I'd like to meet the person who has you so happy."

“That’s me. Huge bark. Less dangerous bite. This Tony is…incredible. He’s a great investigator. Loyal, sharp, witty. Old friend says he reminds him of the way I used to be.” He gave Trish a small smile. “See why I can never have my team here? My fierce reputation would be destroyed if you started talking about butterflies and kittens.”

He gave Trish a long involved look, not speaking again until they’d just entered Rich’s apartment. He couldn’t lie to her like this, he couldn’t continue to lie and have any respect for himself. “Tony is the partner, Trish. He…is my partner. The partner” He sighed before looking at his sister, worried about what he might see in her eyes.

Trish stopped, giving herself a moment to digest the news. Why on earth had he denied it to so easily cave in? Did he think that she would care who he was bedding? She'd ignored the three airheads after Shannon, so the fact that her brother was happy and in a good relationship made her very happy. 

"I repeat, when are you going to bring him around? I promise no kitten tales, although I've got a feeling he sees past the gruff to the real you. Don't care who you're sleeping with, as long as you're happy, Lee."

“I can’t lie about him,” he said, answering her unspoken question “I can’t do it to him or us. Bad enough that I left him with mysteries and questions and those goddamn sad eyes he gives me, like he’s a puppy I just kicked. Mother and Father would eat him alive if they knew and he’s been so damaged by his own family. You…you’re different, Trish. I’ll figure something out.”

Patricia sighed. “You might be surprised, Lee. Mother and father, they aren’t the people you remember. I won’t defend them, they did some awful things to us kids. They still can do them, and probably not even blink at screwing one of us over. But they’re so much older. You probably wouldn’t even recognize them if you passed them on the street. That’s my one pitch, you won’t hear anything more out of me about them.”

“Listen to what you’re saying here, Trish. They can still do awful things and probably not blink at screwing us over. But they changed. Sounds like they’re the same soulless people who gave birth to us. I’d recognize them. I’ve seen the pictures. Just as classy and cool as always.” 

His voice softened. “I know you have to do it for your own sake, Trish, but don’t push.”

"I won't push you. Just know, things aren't always what they seem, Leroy."

He opened his wallet and pulled out a small picture of the team, Duck and Abbs at the yearly Christmas dinner he sprang for. This last year he’d taken them to Morton’s in Tyson’s Corner. He pointed out the people, starting with the four in front. “Abby Sciuto, forensics. You wouldn’t know it from that picture but she’s a tattooed Goth. Dr. Donald Mallard, Ducky. Our M.E. and oldest friend. Tim McGee, computer whiz kid, and special agent. Ziva David, Mossad officer liaison.”

Then he pointed to Tony and him, the only ones standing, body language carefully not revealing anything, Tony looking incredible in a black suit and muted tie. “Anthony DiNozzo. Tony. My Senior Agent…and mine.”

“Oh, he’s a cutie! I can see why you would want to take him home.” Trish admired the picture, glad to see that Lee had a team he could depend on. “You’ve got what looks like a good team that you can count on. That makes me happy, I never liked the idea of you being out there all by yourself. But you have people to take care of you. And a hottie to take home with you. Did I mention that he’s cute? If I didn’t, I meant to.”

“Yeah he’s….he’s pretty good looking.” It was completely bizarre that he was discussing the looks of his partner with his sister…and that she was approving. It made him wistful for what should have been between her and Shannon. They’d talked and been friendly but that bond hadn’t been there. Trish was young and in school and Shan was just as young and adjusting to new motherhood. And Trish had been involved with medication…it had taken time and energy for her to come back to the family.

“My team is completely loyal. They’re good people, Trish. Came close to losing them recently. Made me realize how much they mean to me. And yeah, you mentioned that you think he’s good looking. Your co-workers know that you use a term like ‘hottie’? You ever use that in court?”

"No, they don't know that I even know the term ‘hottie’, and they don't need to. I have a good team in place, but not like you do." Trish couldn't help but be a little jealous. Lee had a great team and a hot lover. It was obvious he was loved, even if he couldn't let his guard down any. "You hold onto them; you don't get a team like that every day, and you need someone to take care of you, Lee. I'm glad you have them."

“I almost lost them,” he admitted in a low voice. When she looked at him, all he could do was meet her eyes. “After the director died in the…fire. The new director split up my team. Tony was at sea for over four months, Ziva was sent back to Mossad, McGee moved to cyber crimes. I got a new team…one of ‘em was a traitor who was killed. It all went to hell, Trish. Almost lost Tony for good. Losing it always made me see what I had.”

"Just keep that in mind, Lee. You didn't lose them, but doing the job you do, it's always possible. You need to hold onto them, and make sure you don't keep things from them. Let them know the real you. You can't keep lying to them, I know you have a reputation to hold up, but you can do that and still let them into your life."

“I’ll see,” he allowed quietly. He was very uncomfortable talking about this, especially to his sister, someone who had known him since he was a little boy.

“Which means as soon as you can get away from me, you’re going to forget we ever had this conversation.” Trish challenged, knowing she was going to push her brother too far, but given a shot, he’d push away his team and in the end he’d lose them even though he didn’t want to. “Take my advice for once in your life, Big Brother. I actually do know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah maybe I will forget, Trish,” he retorted, rising to the challenge. “But it isn’t any of your business. Tony’s been with me seven years. Ducky’s been my closest friend for almost fifteen. They’re sticking around. Okay? Despite me, they’re sticking around.” He gave her a long look. “Credit me for knowing something about my friends and lovers.”

“I have no doubt. I just don’t think you know yourself well enough. You’ll sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. Take this and run with it, Lee. It will go a long way in making me happy to see you happy.”

He sighed, trying not to seem angry. “I’ll do my best, Trish. Allow me to figure this out, okay? I know that you worry and care, but I know my people, Trish. The absence didn’t weaken me and Tony. We’re stronger than ever. We missed each other like you couldn’t believe. Over a hundred days and everything we said when we did talk was in damn code.”

He sighed. “I’m almost ready to come out, Trish. Even though it could destroy my career, I’m so tired of goddamn hiding. Of lying. Of the look in his eyes when we’re forced to lie.”

“You’ve got enough time in don’t you, Lee? You don’t have to work; you could walk away.” Her brother had money, not only from their parents but from their grandparents and their aunt and uncle. He wouldn’t use it, she wouldn’t remind him but it was available if worse came to worse. “You have a family, or at least a sister who will support you. And who has a little experience in wrongful termination cases. They think about relieving you of your duties before you’re ready to walk out of there. I might just have to come out to visit and take on your case.”

“I could. Would rather have my twenty in, but I could walk away.” He shrugged, uncomfortable. “But I don’t want to. I happen to like what I’m doing. I happen to be good at what I’m doing. The bigger picture is more important than just me, Trish. Much more important. Bringing the dirt bags to justice is what matters.”

Would NCIS really kick him out? He didn’t know, but he couldn’t take that chance with Tony’s career. Tony was a damn good investigator and deserved the career he was attaining.

"Twenty years, and however long your partner decides to stay in law enforcement. You could be looking at an awfully long time." Trish wondered if her brother had considered that. Tony looked younger, and probably wasn't anywhere near having enough time in, even if he counted all his other jobs. "What matters is your happiness. Just for once, I wish you would acknowledge that."

“And if we come out, as long as he’s in law for his ass to get kicked. This occupation isn’t known for kindness to gays or bisexuals, Trish. It’s just the way it is. He hasn’t even hit forty yet but at least with one of us out of the career, we’d have a chance for peace. As it is now, he’s virtually moved in with me and nobody knows.”

He sighed. “Fine. My happiness matters. And that guy there, he’s my happiness. Almost as much as….” He trailed off and swallowed hard. “Shannon was. He makes me feel things I wanted to stay dead after I lost her, Trish.”

“Then do what you need to do to make sure you keep that together. I’d love to see you as happy as you were then. I would enjoy a niece or a nephew too.” Trish enjoyed the shock on her brother’s face. “Rich, he’s in no rush to settle down and get married. I’m not sure he would know what to do with himself. But if you had a stable relationship. One that was full of love, like you had before. I think a baby would do you a world of good, Leroy.”

“We’re not family men, Trish. He had a bad childhood and well…you know mine.” He was stunned that she seemed to think he and Tony would make good fathers. “What could we give a kid? We work eighty to a hundred hour weeks, eat and drink on the run and sleep at work as much as we do at home. Who’d bring or let a kid into that, Trish? You’d be better off popping one out. You have to work less hours than we do.”

He paused. “I do have a stable relationship. But we’re not family men.”

“But you won’t always be that man. And the fact that neither of you had fairytale childhoods means you know what not to do.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said it, but it didn’t mean that Trisha hadn’t meant it. “You were great with Kelly, you did a great job with Rich and me too. You’re a natural father, and I don’t believe that you would be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t the same caring man that you are. Children, they need that in their lives. Me, I’m too selfish. I spend as many nights at the office as you do. Just because I want a niece or nephew doesn’t mean I want a son or daughter. I’m not hard wired to be maternal. You already know you can do it.”

“And Anthony?” he asked, almost before he could stop himself. “I didn’t do right by Anthony now, did I?” He closed his eyes. Broken marriages he could deal with but never having had another child cut so deep. “I’m selfish too in my own way. The boat, Tony, that is all I need. I couldn’t be an effective father again. I’m too goddamn cynical.”

Even he knew that wasn’t true. When he’d dealt with the children on the job, it had warmed his heart. He was still in contact with Zach Tanner, whose father had disappeared when he was riding a carousel, and the little blind girl, Sandy Watson, and more recently Carson Taylor. He and Tony had talked about being Big Brothers together. They loved kids. Gibbs just wasn’t sure he could allow himself to be a father again, when he knew what the pain of losing a child was.  
"Jethro, not everything has to link back to our brother. You did the right thing, even if you don't think so. Anthony was old enough to swim back. You couldn't have known he wouldn't make it." Her brother had an incredible defense mechanism. If you got too close to the truth, he got defensive. He'd been like that as a child, and it hadn't gotten more refined with age.   
"You're scared, not selfish. I don't believe you wouldn't be a good father. Actually I take that back. You wouldn't be a father. You're much more the daddy type. I can't see you having a child who was afraid of you when you did bother to show up for an event. You are very hands on, and I can't see you being a distant father."  
“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I was ‘Daddy’ to Kelly but losing her changed me as much as losing Anthony did. Two children died on my watch and they both define who I am. I can’t help it, Trish. I can’t help it!” His emotions were already raw and bleeding and this was just the beginning.  
“Tony and me, we could die any day. Not fair to a kid, Trish.” And he couldn’t forget how Fornell’s daughter had been targeted.

"Yeah, you could. Or you can both live to be eighty and would miss out on something special together. You may be right Lee, and I may never get the niece or nephew that I'd so enjoy. It was just an idea."

“You had one, Patricia. Kelly Remember her? You may have been a student at the time but she was here for over seven years. It wasn’t my fault, or Shan’s fault, or Kelly’s fault that you weren’t able to be an aunt to her. Not saying it was yours either, but that chance did exist. Don’t say things that make me think you don’t acknowledge her existence. Just…don’t.”

~*~

Lee Jamison Gibbs hung up the phone in his study and got up from his desk chair, walking over to the window and looking out over the grounds. The family had owned this house for many years, since before the children had been born. And this view in particular always astounded him. He loved the peace of the water, the brilliant vibrancy of the grass fading away to the deep blue of the water. Once, a long time ago, his four children had run around and played on that grass. He’d sip his cognac and watch them. Lee usually keeping an eye on Anthony, the bundle of energy, Patricia ordering everyone around, and Richard just happy to be out of doors.

Over thirty-five years had passed since he’d seen that view and the older he got, the more aware he was of what he had lost. Not only Anthony, taken from them in one horrible moment, but Lee, who had never been the same afterward. They’d lost Lee that day. And now Richard, gone, perhaps being the irresponsible youngest child of the family, but he didn’t believe that of his youngest son. There was more trouble afoot. He just hoped it didn’t lead to yet another family tragedy.

He sighed, smoothing down his hair, straightening his sport coat, his nerves kicking in. Marjorie would have to be told, given time to adjust to this new development. 

He found his wife in the solarium along with Greta, their housekeeper and her companion. After all these years, Greta, her husband Weston, who had been Lee’s driver for as many years as Greta had kept house, and their daughter Noelle, maid and all around helper, were family. They lived in a small house on the grounds and were loyal and good friends. What he had to say could be discussed in front of Greta.

“Marjorie, I’ve just had some news come across to me. Patricia just met someone at O’Hare. It’s Lee, my dear. We should expect him to come by. I assume he’s helping her determine where Richard has gone off to.” He swallowed, studying his wife’s expression, measuring the clarity in her eyes. “It appears the prodigal son may be returning.”

"Leroy is in Chicago?" It shouldn't surprise her that Patricia went against the family and called in help, although that it was family made it somewhat better. 

"Do you think if we extended an invitation to the boy, he would join us for dinner one night while he's visiting? Perhaps if we ask nicely, Greta would make his favorite cookies for him. He always loved Greta's oatmeal cookies. Lee, call Patricia and see if she will bring Leroy by for a social call. He's been away much too long. It's unforgivable!”

Lee folded his hands over his wife’s. Marjorie had her good days and her bad and today it appeared she was in and out in a mild way. Her details were often sharp but her sense of logic often slipped. “Darling, I don’t believe Leroy will want to visit with us. You surely remember that he doesn’t speak with us and hasn’t for a great many years. I do believe he will be by as part of his investigative work but you shouldn’t expect a warm reunion.”

He and Marjorie had a great many regrets about those times, but the damage had been done by the time they’d come to their senses and Lee had gone on to marry a string of perfect women, divorcing every last one of them. They had followed his life from afar. Marjorie even had a scrapbook of clippings that she looked at many evenings, more now that her memory was failing.

"We must try at least. I know he's angry about us not liking that girl, but he can't hold it against us forever. I want my son to come for a visit." If Lee couldn't make it happen, Marjorie would have to go to Leroy. She could convince her son to come for a visit. Weston could drive her, and she knew that if she asked, Patricia would make sure he was in one spot to receive her. 

"I know I have not always done right by my children, and I would like to make up for that before it's too late. I understand Leroy is stubborn, but I did not raise a rude child. He will come and pay his respects."

“I’ll see what I can organize, my dear.” But she only tapped her foot in response and he sighed, releasing her hand and using his cellular to call Patricia. “Lee has nothing to say to us, my dear. I’m afraid we broke him a long time ago.” He hated having to crush her dreams but the boy was clearly not interested.

The phone rang three times before someone picked up. “Patricia? Father calling. Will you be bringing Leroy by? Your mother and I would like to have him over for a meal despite everything…”

“Dad.” Trish looked at her brother, not sure how he would react to their parents knowing he was in town. “I hadn’t planned on bringing him to dinner, but I’m sure we’ll come by before he has to head home. He’s going to want to talk to you about what Richard has been up to at work.”

Not sure what Lee knew about their mother and her condition, Trish didn’t want to him to find out this way. “Mother, she knows Lee is here and wants to see him? Does she realize what she’s asking?”

“I assumed as much, Patricia. Yes, for the moment she knows he’s here and wants Greta to make him some oatmeal cookies.” He sighed, giving his wife an encouraging look before sitting beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “She believes his absence from our lives has been completely unforgivable. Might you see if he’d be willing to just say a quick hello to her over the cellular?”

What he didn’t say was that especially if Marjorie became overexcited that her memory might start to go. If Lee would speak with her, it might be a memory she could hold on to. He looked over at his wife and the rapt expression on her face. “It would mean a great deal to Mother, Patricia. As you well know, every moment is precious.”

"Dad…" She'd promised that she wouldn't push the issue, but she had a tough time saying no to her father. He'd mellowed considerably with age, and her mother was more often then not, a child trapped in a woman's body. "I will ask, but I won't push the issue. I won't be put in the middle again, not even for a good cause. If he says no, I'm going to leave it at that. You shouldn't have told her he was here."

“I am prepared to accept that, Patricia. I’m not asking this for myself, but for Mother. Lee has every right to never want to speak to us again regarding personal matters and I will respect his decision, whatever it may be.”

Perhaps he shouldn’t have told his wife, who had taken to holding pictures of Lee and showing them to anyone who might wander past. “I had to, Patricia. She has been my wife for almost fifty years. I could not keep her fondest wish from her, not when every day we lose another piece of her mind.”

“What does that bastard want?” Jethro asked, hate and disgust hardening his voice.

"Hold on, Dad." Trish held the phone against her jacket, hoping to dampen some of the conversation. "Mother knows you're in town. She'd like you to come over for dinner. She's even promised to make sure Greta makes oatmeal cookies for you. Father was also hoping you might consider talking to her on the phone. She's not well, Lee. She's having a lucid moment, for her. She wants to talk to you."

He blinked rapidly. “Oatmeal cookies?” He eyed her, feeling confused now. “What do you mean, she’s not well and she’s having a lucid moment?” He sank onto a leather couch, looking up at Trish. 

For so long he’d hated them with such a passion that it had kept him going in the bad times, but hearing this took the wind out of his sails.

“I promise not to give away you can still be bribed with oatmeal cookies. Mother, she may look the same, Lee, but she isn’t the woman you remember. She can still be biting, but ten minutes later, you walk into the room and she’s likely not to remember who you are.” It was the easiest way to describe what was going on with their mother, but it was very simplistic. The beginning stages of Alzheimer’s meant that Marjorie Gibbs could go days or weeks without an episode, but she also could, at a moments notice, forget who she was talking to or that she had a family. It was getting worse, but no one would say it out loud.

“Up to you, Lee. She wants to talk to you, but I couldn’t tell you if she’s going to be mother from twenty years ago or the older and somewhat kinder mother. You just don’t know. It’s a crapshoot, but there’s going to be a time, not too long from now, that she might not even remember you. Last time I was at the manor, she thought I was Aunt Junie. It comes and goes.”

He must have sat there for five minutes, absorbing the news and adjusting to it. He wanted to be the complete bastard; he wanted to be. But he couldn’t. There was some shred of sympathy inside him.

“Alzheimer’s?” Gibbs asked softly and Trish nodded, her eyes so sad. He scrubbed a hand over his face, considering his options, then reached out for the phone. They’d never been parents to him but for Shannon and Kelly, for Tony, he’d be civil.

~*~

Tony knew Abby wasn’t due for a couple of hours but he’d sent her a text message anyway saying she could come over any time. He’d pulled his bed apart even though he knew damn well he’d be sleeping at Jethro’s tonight, he’d scattered some DVDs around and put a few things in the fridge. And dusted. His flat screen had a layer of dust on it and Abbs wasn’t stupid. She’d know something was up then.

When someone knocked on the door, he was so deep in his thoughts that he was startled. “Yeah, it’s open!”

Richard Gibbs hesitated before opening the door. He'd done a lot of research on his older brother and his agents, and when he found out that Anthony DiNozzo was a member of the same fraternity, it seemed like a better idea to come to the man who didn't know him, who might be convinced to help him out and get him in touch with his brother. The brotherhood ran deep, but this was even above and beyond the call of duty.

"Agent DiNozzo, you might want to come to the door. I'm afraid if I come in, and I'm not who you think I should be you'll end up shooting me and I'm not ready to die yet."

Agent? Huh? Tony grabbed his gun and looked through the peephole. Nobody at his apartment complex knew anything beyond the fact that he was a government worker, but who wasn’t in this town?

He cracked the door. “Extend your hands…who are you and what do you want?”

Rich held his hands as asked. He knew the drill, if only having seen it on TV. "My name is Richard Lee Gibbs, you can call me Rich. We have a mutual friend, that I need help contacting. We also have a mutual brotherhood. My assistant did some digging, Special Agent DiNozzo, and I thought our fraternity bond may be enough to convince you I don't mean any harm. I need help, and I don't know that Leroy will see me."

Gibbs? LEROY? Tony had tried to dig into Gibbs’ files but they were sealed. Nobody—not even the director—had known he’d lost a wife and child before the coma. Tony studied the man as much as he could. Handsome. Dark hair. Those electric blue eyes. Even if this guy meant to harm Gibbs, he was family…Tony could see that.

“Okay, jacket off, roll up the cuff of your pants and turn around slowly for me.”

Doing as he was ordered, because there was absolutely no asking involved, Rich wondered not for the first time if he hadn’t made a mistake in coming here. “I mean you no harm. I don’t have any weapons on me, and I chose to leave my assistant behind. He’s the one you really should be worried about. I’m just trying to gather information, and I was hoping I could use the fraternity to get into your good graces. I’m not a criminal; I’m a lawyer. And no, those two aren’t exclusive to one another.”

“Yeah, well I have to be sure,” Tony retorted. The guy seemed clean so he opened the door wider and motioned him in. “You said your name is Gibbs. What’s the relation to Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Did you get someone to contact him? Is that why he left so fast?”

"Leroy isn't here?" Rich hadn't considered that his brother might not be in town, although it sounded as if it was a sudden trip. "He's my brother, older brother that is. I haven't seen him in years, and I need his help. I was hoping that you would help me smooth things over with him, but you say someone called and he left? Is there any way you can get him back here?"

“You’re his…? Gibbs has…?” Tony shook his head slightly, sucking in a deep breath. The guy looked a lot like Boss, enough to be family, brothers. Brothers? Unbelievable. “You’re his family? I didn’t know…he always said he had no family.” And this guy wanted things to be smoothed over. Interesting…

“You need help with something, sounds like you guys aren’t on good terms. And yeah, he left. Don’t know where he went. Someone called looking for ‘Lee’ and he said he had to go away. No idea where. You’re in trouble, so tell me what’s going on and I’ll see if I can get him for you.”

No way in hell was Tony gonna involve Gibbs in this until he knew what was going on.

"A brother, yes. I have an older sister, but she's younger than Leroy too." It didn't surprise him in the least that Leroy had never spoken of them. To the best of his knowledge, he had disavowed all of them except for Patricia and their uncle. "I need my brother's help, yes. I didn't know whom else to turn to. Our parents, they expect perfect children. I'm far from perfect, and I knew that Leroy might understand. It could have been Trish that called. She's one of the few that calls him Lee. If they've found out I'm gone, she could be looking for me. But why go to her? I didn't believe he would care enough to bother."

“A brother and a sister and he never told,” Tony said quietly. This hurt. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did. And parents? Gibbs had a whole family out there and nobody knew? Or did Abbs and Ducky and he was the only one at a loss?

Tony looked at the man, trying not to hate him and failing miserably. “I don’t care about your goddamn family drama. Tell me what trouble you’re in so that I know what help you need.”

“I haven’t seen my brother since his wife and daughter’s funeral. I’m not surprised he doesn’t talk about us. My family…” How did one explain the dysfunction that described his family? There was no civilized way to do so. “We’re not close, for reasons that go far beyond even my comprehension. I don’t know all of it, started when I was still little.”

Rich knew that he’d screwed this up. Maybe he should have just called Leroy like he planned. Tony DiNozzo obviously thought it was his job to protect the elder Gibbs, and wasn’t looking like he wanted to help. 

“I can wait for my brother to come back into town. I obviously overestimated the fact that you might be willing to help me. I am not here to hurt Leroy in any way. I need some help, and can hide out here until he decides to come home. If I pass muster, I think it might be best to leave and take my chances.”

“Look, you’re here now,” Tony said, softening his voice. “Tell me what you need. Tell me what kind of trouble you’re in. I’ll help if I can.” The idea that Gibbs had run off to help family was more appealing than him going to help an ex. “You know Shannon and Kelly?” The words felt strange on Tony’s lips and he felt like an idiot. This guy was Gibbs’ brother, of course he did.

“What were they like?” he asked. 

“Kelly was the most beautiful little girl. I was a teenager when she was born, but I can remember seeing her at the hospital. She wasn’t all red and scrunched up like all the rest of the babies. She was very pale, with a whole lot of red hair on her. Shannon was great, so nice to me. I wasn’t exactly a nice kid. But she never made me feel like I was a geeky teenager, like a lot of other people would have.”

Rich had always thought he’d grow up and marry a Shannon of his own, or marry Shannon if Leroy would share her. Life had been so much simpler back then, before reality settled in. A reality he wasn’t happy with right now. Rich debated on if he should tell his brother’s agent what was going on. He’d been running for so long, it would almost be a relief to get it off his chest. Only Randy knew what was going on. 

“You have something to drink around here? I could really use a beer, and this story isn’t easy to tell drunk, but it’s impossible to talk about sober.”


End file.
